Joe's Corner

It’s the start of another great year here at Ole’ Happy Valley. It couldn’t be more perfect. The weather is great, the birds are chirping, and clouds of construction debris fill the air. Yes, Penn State is a beautiful place to be.

But with every 10, there lurks a duff. That’s right, I have a lot of problems with you people, and this year, you’re going to hear about it. Nobody is safe. Not your friends, not your frat boys, not your sorostitutes, not your pets, not even the Mclanahan’s Bum.

OH YES, the long haired, long bearded man is a fraud! You heard it here first! I saw him leaving the Omega ATM with five $100 bills and a stack of 20’s. What would a bum be doing with all that money? And why in God’s name would he be taking it all out at one time? He scammed us, he scammed us all. Right now he’s probably flying south on Hooters Air, sipping a martini, and joining the mile high club with Big Boobs Magee in the bathroom. Boy oh boy what a life…

And speaking of life, I’ve gotta get back to mine. So until next week…have some fun, make some friends, but don’t do anything stupid. Cause we’re at Penn State, and mistakes are just waiting to find you.

8-31-03

Seriously, I'm a Nice Guy
The Airing of Grievances

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