Keath: I gotta watch this, we're gonna be walking right were they walked. Well, I'll be gimping.
(Watching Rounders when they go to AC)

Dave: Going to Hooters before going to the Endzone is like filling up on bread before you get the filet minon.

Bausch: Is the weather bad out?
Joe: Well, judging by your standards ...

Keath: March 15th, 4/20, right?

Keath: My stomach can't hold shit, literally.

Keath: There are midgets that are that tall, look at the Ewoks.

Fall 2002

Ashlee: What happens to suede shoes when you get beer on them.
Janke: Cows go out in the beer.

Matt and Dave were discussing the names of Ahad's children (A-had, B-had, etc.) and ...
Jenna: Wouldn't C-had just be Chad?

Keath: What's better than twins?
Dave: Triplets.

Ben: Is Mypos in Pakistan?

Janke: What kind of security do they have on flights to Pakistan? Do they say, "Flight to Pakistan? Everybody on!"

Joe: Watch out, there's random liquids everywhere.
Ali: It's alright, its probably pee. If I was a guy I'd pee everywhere.

Ahad's name means one.
Megan: What means two?
Janke: Bhad.

Caitlin: Guess what guys, I actually spent a night in my apartment last night.

Announcer at the Game: Today's attendence 108,734.
Janke: They didn't count the Penn State players because they obviously didn't show up.

Ahad: It's getting way too hot in here.
Dave: It's getting way too drunk in here.

Megan (to Dave): You're lactating!

Ben: It smells like air freshener in here.
Keath: I have deodorant on.

Random Kid on Balcony: Vagina!
Ben (thinking he heard China): Australia!

Keath: How would we get the goal post out of here?
Janke: Pivot!

Janke: We are quickly approaching 30 people, with a little work we will reach my goal?
Dave: How many is that?
Janke: 138

Random Kids to Dave When Walking Quickly: Whoa buddy, where's the fire?

Dave: I gave my lay away, today.

Keath: Ed Norton was in that movie (American History X).
Dave: I went to school with Ed Norton.
Everyone: Really?
Dave: No, not that Ed Norton.

Janke: I saw Ahad walking down the street today, he was scary. If I didn't know him I would have walked to the other side of the street.
Dave: I know him and I still walk to the other side.

Janke: He wasn't very fast but your guys were slower.
Joe: Thanks Lee Corso.

Keath: Are you ready to go?
Ben: Yea, just let me put some shorts on.

Matt: Ahad, I think I'm going to ask Dave to marry me.

Ahad: Dave made me watch A-Team with my head phones on.
Dave: It was 3am!
Ahad: No it was only 2am.
Dave: Well its an hour long.

Dave (about Dick's Sporting Goods): I wonder when Dick's is open until. Well, I'm not going to dicks.com, I think I'll do a search for it.

From the car incident:

Ahad: Where's my car? Where's my damn car?

Ahad: I hope my car wasn't towed.
Dave: Well that is your best chance.

Towing Company Dispatcher: Do you have a CB?

Ben (to Christina): You were in the elevator with me?

Dave: I love the water pressure in our shower. Ahad is going to come out completly hairless.

While watching the Arizona State/Nebraska game, Nebraska's QB's last name is Lord ...
Keath: Wouldn't it be funny if his first name was Jesus.
Janke: It would be funnier if it was Good. Ya know, Good Lord.

Driving by Ritenour during the first week of school.
Joe: What are all those people lined up outside for?
Janke: Maybe they don't have their papers.
Joe: What are they Italian?